Blaaaaah

What could be worse than being an insomniac and running out of Ambien? Throw a cold on top of it. So not only did I not fall asleep until sometime after 2 (hypothesizing) but I couldn’t breathe either. What that means is that tonight I will get some sleep as I only had about 4 hours last night…

On the bright side, my 3 year old did read 6 stories to me while I was taking a rest on the couch. No, she cannot read, she just makes up stuff based on the pictures. I was also not allowed to talk or make noise while she read. She made those rules VERY clear.

To leave you on some funnier notes, here are my favorite shirts of the day/week.

This one is specifically for Sarcastic Mom who almost picked a spam fight with me. Until I threatened her with the power of Basedow.

This is only as offensive as the words your brain substitutes for the pictures.

Weekend Fun

After work Friday I met the girls at a birthday party where for the first time in their life and mine, we flew a kite. Kinda cool but kinda boring at the same time…weird.

Saturday cancelled outdoor plans with rain so we went to the Florida mall. Almost bought a Mets jersey and t-shirt for the girls but showed some restraint and put them back on the rack. We hit the spots we had to hit, a tour of the Disney store, nothing purchased, the Apple store so they could sit on the kiddie bean bags and play the kiddie games on the iMacs setup for kids usage. Bought a cool Dr. Seuss ABC game. Went to the bookstore which is a favorite place for both kids. Sent the wife to the M&M’s store with the girls while I had my glasses fixed. Bought various candy from Dylan’s Candy Bar. Fun fun and not too expensive.

Saturday night I played hockey and we lost and played a shitty ugly game. The ending was marred by a teammate acting like an asshole and started fighting and other dirtyness to earn a 3 game suspension. Since we have 1 regular season game left before our 3 game playoffs my vote was for him not to come back at all. He acted like a jerk and hurt the rest of us by shortening our roster at a critical time. I hope it was worth it…

Sunday brought more rain, and our only venture out was to get some lunch. Dishes, laundry, finger-painting, baseball and Nascar on TV ensued. There was a funny popcorn incident where my girls and I split a bag of popcorn 80/20 and I sat them at the table. After about 15 minutes later they admitted to making a face in the popcorn with the table salt and pepper by emptying the entire shaker contents into their bowl. Obviously after a few more pieces they were suddenly done with their popcorn. Just some basic average middle america home time fir us suburbanites. Not to mention we are on round 57 of putting the kids back in bed.

The best commercial just came on. It was for a new pill for heartburn called ACIPHEX. That may not seem bad but if you say it aloud as it was pronounced on TV, you’ll hear yourself saying “ass effects.” Whose the braniac that thought of this? You get acid reflux, gerd or some heartburn and they prescribe ass effects with a straight face? HA! So I guess they take your stomach acid and heartburn and redirect it through your ass. Wonderful! The most common side effect possibly related to ACIPHEX is headache. Symptom relief does not rule out other serious stomach conditions. I’m guessing the headache is from squeezing all that heartburn out your ass and the other serious stomach conditions incude musical farting that could be studied in music theory classes at Carnegie.

Hilarious Muppet Bloopers — for your viewing pleasure

It’s Over & Other Crap

Tonight officially ended my NY Islanders season. We ended on a high note by beating those piece of shits sometimes called the Rangers in a shootout. I truly hate that team even though my uncle works for them. Perhaps I was bred that way, but so be it. I hate losing to them more than any other team in professional sports.

In case you missed it, look at this wicked wreck. This video is slowed down, but that first impact was at about 189 mph. Don’t worry, he survives. Kudos to the technology geniuses who designed the safer walls and safer race cars.

For a working Dad, Fridays are very exciting. Not only to I get to leave my work behind for a couple days but I get to spend 2 full days with my girls. Rain is in the forecast for both days, but I don’t care. We’ll make the most of it I’m sure. Go fish and Uno are certainly in my near future. Oh yeah, and Mrs Hockeyman will be there too.

I get to play hockey tomorrow night but not until 10:00 PM. That time may sound bad, but after a discussion with the league director today I learned it was either a 10:00 PM Saturday start or an 11:30 PM Wednesday night start. I’ll take Saturday…

Next Friday night I get to see Iron & Wine. If you don’t know him, I provided a link. The music is definately not for everyone and is severly on the mellow side. However, it is beautifully crafted acoustic art that I find highly entertaining.

Why can’t ALL kids movies be as good for adults as Pixar movies are? I know there are a couple but overall Pixar flicks beats them all. Hands down.

Videos online with my girls and sometimes myself and my wife now available for consumption.

Good news, the Office comes back this week. If you cannot relate to at least one character in this show, please tell me where you work and how I can apply…

On behalf of the anniversary of the official formation of Microsoft, I love Apple and the products they make. They simply work and work extremely well. Oh yeah, they look pretty nice and are sometimes thought of as innovative. Gates may have started the whole personal computer revolution, but Apple certainly made it better. Vista??? HA!

Off to bed, please oh please let my girls sleep in for me tomorrow as they did for their mother the past 2 days…that would be nice.

What Happened Here?

So I skip one day of posting to this blog and when I come back everything(dashboard admin stuff) is like all upgraded and shit. Cool, thanks WordPress!

Friends and Cultures

Tonight I had the privilege of hosting one of my old friends who started as a co-worker. He hails from Milan, Italy so I do not get to spend much time with him except when his work brings him here. My current work does nothing in other countries so I no longer get to travel abroad as I did when I worked there. Financially I am much better at my current employer but I do miss speaking with people in England, Italy and occasionally France and Australia as well. I have never been to his home in Milan, actually cancelled 2 trips there, but I vow to one day get there for a visit. Thanks to the Internet, we are able to maintain our communications and it is always nice to discuss various cultural things with him.

What made tonight even more fun was my girls, usually shy, accepted him and had quite a bit of fun “showing off” as excited toddlers tend to do. He will one day become a father and he will be a fine one as he has a knack with kids. It was fun to watch him try to teach my girls to count to 10 in Italian. All I remember aside from ciao is how to say “spoon” and “cat” mostly thanks to Baby Einstein videos. He is going to be married in a month and I wish he and his bride the best of luck. They had the coolest invitation I have seen in a while, even though we could not fully read it he helped. As per traditional Italian culture with the invitation we were presented a gift of some chocolates with the invitation. It is a wonderful idea in my opinion as it helps to promote the happiness that is beaming from the couple by sharing a little sweetness with friends and family.

I certainly wish I could personally attend this wedding but plane tickets to Italy are hard to pay for with 2 young children and I actually have to travel for my current job at the same time. I will of course send my love and best wishes for them and offer a promise that we will come visit someday when it might be easier for us to travel. I will also like to visit when we can spend time with them at a time when they are not experiencing the craziness of a wedding! Although we share cultural differences here and there it is always reassuring to see and know that the core values and perspectives are the same no matter where you are from. Teaching your children the same will hopefully not create the elitist attitudes our governing officials like to portray. The European culture and lifestyle would do this nation good but as Americans we don’t know how to slow down long enough to soak it all in.

War is declared

In case you missed it, Mrs. Hockeyman has posted some photos of myself using the same seductive poses that put her under my spell almost 13 years ago. These photos were used as a secret santa gift that went to one of her best friends in my feeble attempt to create a backup plan. Anyway, the plan failed and the pics were supposed to be deleted, but just like Kristen Davis, the photos have come back in an attempt to harm me.

In response to thos highly hostile act, I have decided to declare war on Mrs. Hockeyman. I will draw a line down the middle of everything in the house and any attepmt to cross that line will bring great consequence. What that might be, I do not know, but I’ll think of something. Since she already posted her high school pictures, I can’t fight fire with fire.

Maybe I will simply refuse to continue not cutting the grass, cooking dinner every day and doing various other chores. But I know the immediate response, she will retaliate in her evil way by not doing any laundry, and ending her refusal to clean the bathroom. Blast! I may have been check-mated here! We shall see who comes out the victor in this ultimate cage battle.

BTW, just kidding honey, April fools, you can snuggle me on my side of the bed.  View the pictures and gaze into my sultry eyes, that’s not just a heart palpatation you’re feeling. As for other ladies gazing into my vixenous gazes, I am monogamous but I am straight and will accept all pictures of gratuitous nudity you have. Please refrain from this fellas. Seriously, not interested. If your not comfortable with that, then I challenge you to post your own embarassing photo somewhere Google can find you.